Thank you.

If you can pass my grammar errors and typos , then , you could enjoy my blog. I am not very good at writing, yet I write from my heart. You will know a little bit of me and the things that I treasure most in my life.
Thank you so much for visiting and for your grace and patience with me.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

8 months with a different life.

Not too long ago, I felt complete. I felt with my hands full and missing nothing. I never saw myself like I was missing someone to hold or to hug. I was complete with the children God gave us. Two wonderful boys that filled my house with laughs, those boys that make me smile every time I see them. Those boys that are growing to be godly men.. O what a joy and satisfaction that is! I always teased that all I ever was going to be, was the "mother in law" because I had no daughters to "plan" the wedding with, but it was fine!, I was happy and said that I was going to spoil my daughters in laws so much so that I would be not just the dreaded "mother in law"... it was fine, really, It was a very happy and complete life, we were 4 in my house and 4 was great!

And then, I had the privilege of having a daughter with me for very little time, yet, I got to hug and kiss, to love and cherish, to fill my head with dreams and sweet memories that lasted but a short time... she was beautiful! And 8 months ago, I became incomplete. I am now broken and part of me is missing. Part of me was ripped away. My heart is missing someone, my arms are empty still. I still miss my little baby Erica Faith. I have her face printed in my head, her little fat hands and soft cheeks...There is not one day, I do not think of her.

BUT, (I love this beautiful word!) As broken as I feel sometimes, I have to say, When I feel very low and very sad, there is always the love of my All Sufficient Father comforting me... it has been a blessing to know God's providence in our life. God's kindness and to see His strength sustaining me on those days that feel so deep in the dark cave of sorrow... yet, I can smile,I love to laugh (something I thought would not come back), I have my dear husband and boys to encourage each other. I see my kids persevering in the faith and my husband, holding unto our Lord. I am so blessed by them! I am the only image of a "girl" in their lives! (poor kids! hahaha ... there are many other women better than me for this job!, I fall so short, ..but that is another post) May I be a Godly example, may I reflect Jesus Christ even in my mourning and may we continue to trust in the future Providences that may come whatever they are, knowing that my days and the days of my family are in His hands. He owns us and He will care for what belongs to Him.. what a rest that is! So whatever may come, good or hard, I know will be the best.

He has truly showed me that we live not for today, we live for tomorrow's rest. When our Heavenly Father will hold us. And there by His feet I will weep my last tears... and He will trade them for joy. My best life now? Impossible! I look forward to my best life when I see my Savior. And while we are here, He gives me the grace to enjoy life, my dear husband (Victor), my 2 beautiful sons (Marco and Sebastian)... and I am so thankful for those mercies... waiting together the coming of our Lord.

And those who know your name put their trust in you,
for you, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you.
Psalm 9:10

My prayers are filled with tears. But not all are sad tears, many of those tears are grateful tears for having 3 handsome men around me :), so incredible blessed by the 3 in many different ways, my daughter safe in His arms. For having my sons walking in the truth.  For giving us the privilege to know Him in a way we never knew Him before, and to love Him more!

And I pray: Lord, come quickly! gather your people and hasten your return!

12 comments:

Persis said...

"we live not for today, we live for tomorrow's rest."

Thank you for sharing your heart, Norma.

Vanessa said...

Your trust in Christ and His goodness revealed in you is such an encouragement to me -- I strive to be like you, who so shines Jesus!

Becky said...

Crying and praying with you.

Love you SO MUCH!

Annie said...

I love you.

Annie-

Emily@Roses and Whimsy said...

This is the first time I've commented on your blog, but I have been praying for you. Not every day, but when I see Becky on FB and remember you and your sweet baby girl. I am so very sorry for your loss. May the peace of the Lord envelope you and your family.

Ann Voskamp @Holy Experience said...

Tears all brimming.

I remember too: I prayed through those last weeks of you and Erica Faith, awaiting meeting her with happy anticipation -- and then wept hard and whispered it with you -- He is always good.

Loving you -- and our Lord...
More love than thin letters can hold, beautiful Norma...
Eucharisteo,
ann

Diana Lovegrove said...

The way you respond to your incompleteness reveals a fullness in the Lord which can only be given by His grace. Much love and tears.

Norma said...

Thank you all for your sweet words and prayers. Since Faith, I lost part of me and also gained lots of Godly friends who are a blessing for me! Thank you for your love and your prayers whenever you remember, I love you dearly and thank the Lord for giving you to me. <3 I cherish your comments. It encourages me greatly.

Sara said...

I sometimes wonder why God has only given me boys and then I see my brokeness as a wife and a woman and think I am thankful God gave me a husband our boys could model and not a daughter cause I would not want her to model me. I also say, if my boys 'turn out okay' then I will gain daughters-in-law and granddaughters. Daughters-in-law that are somewhere now growing up and being raised by a good mother who will train them and direct them by God's grace to be good wives to my sons. I think that God gave me sons because I do not think I would have been a good mother to a girl. I so prayed and rejoiced with you when your little girl was on the way and felt the deep sadness when she was taken home and I said: "Why Norma Lord?" He has blessed you and others in this journey and will guide you to continue to be a blessing to others.♥

Norma said...

Sara, I feel much like you,... he gave me the joy of having her. And that was enough.. I have a daughter, and having her was just joy. She never had to deal with my sin, my shortcomings, she saw our Lord. What a blessed life she had.

Trisha said...

How beautifully you've glorified the LORD in the midst of such pain, Norma. May He continue to comfort your heart as only He can. I continue to pray for you.

Elizabeth DeBarros said...

Beautiful, Norma.

"...we live not for today, we live for tomorrow's rest."

Resounding words.

Love,
-E