One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple. Ps. 27: 4
As I am reading through some psalms, God reveals in His word as a mirror more and more of His holiness, more and more of my inability and more and more of His beauty. Often when I pray, I pray in a very self centered way. I pray for my needs, for my selfish desires, for the things that concern me at the time, and spend not as much time praying to dwell in the house of the Lord ALL THE DAYS OF MY LIFE. To GAZE upon the beauty of the Lord and seek him in his temple. My own repentance needs repentance... since I fear the consequences more than the fact that I offended my Saviour.
I love the Lord, and I love Him with all my heart, or at least that is what I think sometimes.. until I read something like this which puts me to shame, which fills me with humility and makes me see how selfish I am, how much I love myself and how little I have died to myself.
To be able to say that all I ask of the Lord is to dwell in His house all the days of the Lord, if that is all I really want... If everything can be taken away from me and yet still be able to say "that is all I ask of you", then I have died to myself. If my cries to the Lord says that all I ask of him is to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and seek him in his temple, then I cannot possibly need anything else. Once you have seen the beauty of the Lord and really see it, I do not think it is possible to love yourself higher than you ought to. Any beauty or desires or rights or goodness, does not even touch the goodness and beauty and holiness and righteousness and perfection of the holy God. So all is left to do is prostrate yourself before him and dwell in His place for ever and seek him.
So in the process of mortifying the sin in me and searching for my desires to be towards Him alone, looking not my own benefit or comfort, but his holiness in my life that one day I can stand before him and say: One thing I ask of you Lord, that I may dwell in your house for ever, and that I may gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and seek you in your temple.