John Bunyan , author of The Pilgrim's Progress suffered much persecution, was imprisoned, his first wife that died, a child born blind and later died, one son was born premature and died... he knew much suffering throughout his life. At one point he was so scared to die and for the welfare of his family, that felt tempted to recant his faith. But could not do it. This is what he wrote:
"... I was greatly troubled, for I was ashamed to die as a coward with tottering knees for such a cause as this. So I was tossed about for many weeks, and knew not what to do. At last this thought came upon me with great weight: It was for the Word of God that I was imprisoned, so I determined not to flinch at all, I also thought that God could choose whether He would give me comfort now or at the hour of death, but I could not choose whether or not to hold my profession. I was bound, but He was free; yes it was my duty to stand to His Word, whether or not He would ever look upon me or save me at the last. With this thought, I was for going on, and venturing my eternal state with Christ, whether I have comfort here or not. If God does not come in, I will still leap of the ladder even blindfolded into eternity, sink or swim, come heaven, come hell. Lord Jesus, catch me if You will; if not, I will still risk my life for Thy name."