My kids are growing up faster than I would like them to. They are able to stay at home alone for a short period of time, they are busy with school but in a more independent way every year, they can bike to a library, they can play for many hours without my assistance... they are growing up!. I feel happy when I see them, when I see them as great boys, kind to each other (most of the time), fearful of God, and respectful to their parents. I am proud of them, I'm happy who they are turning into.
At the same time, it brings me a whole lot of different emotions that I feel very nervous about. I have more time for other things.. I have the time to do my necklaces and to use that time wisely or idle. I have those thoughts coming often lately, a little concerned about WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WHEN THEY NEED ME NO MORE!... what am I going to do!!. I have a career that I am no longer up to date, I'll have free time...I need to start focusing now in the things I want to do after they are gone. What are my abilities, what can I do to keep my mind occupied, I really fear "not having things to do", I want my years to be industrious and busy, I do not want to waste my life.
All those things that also bring me to the thoughts of: how do I install that passion in my kids to help them to start to focus on what they are good at and what they enjoy... so they can be industrious men too. How do I teach them that, so that they won't be idle teens and adults.
There is so much ahead of my life, challenges and training of my mind and my kids, learning and praying, trusting instead of being anxious, being wise instead of foolish, and .. did I mention praying?, praying... that is what my life needs to become more and more.. a praying mother.