My boys are growing up... yes I am happy and sad at the same time. I am nervous and secure. Afraid and trusting. Excited and sad. All of those emotions, rushing through me. But I have been a mom of young boys for so long I need to learn how to make the transition to be a mom of older boys (young man and teen agers), later on, how to be a mom of adult men.
WOW! when I had them, this time seemed so far away, almost as if it was never going to come. But here I am, facing a different stage of my life.
So I got a book (still waiting for it) called: You Never Stop Being a Parent (recommended to me by my sister). Well as I wait for it to arrive, I am noticing how much I need it. I need to learn to do a healthy transition and to have a "more adult relationship" with them as they grow up. Learn what they like now as their tastes change, their personalities mature, their conversations are deeper and their opinion needs to be heard and considered even more (because, they do have great things to say with views I never though and opinions I never considered).
I am reading the Bible this week and this is what I read in 1 Thes. 2:11-12:
For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory.
It says it as if it is something natural for a father to do this with their children: encouraging, comforting and urging them to live lives worthy of God. I would like to think of myself as if this is the way I deal with my children all the time, but more times than I wish, I deal with them in a "not so godly way". I show them not as much grace as God has shown me or even as much grace as they have shown me.
If I can keep these 3 things in mind every day, I think my transition will be easier. I may have to write them on a wall or place them i a place that I will be reminded often so I do not forget.
Encourage, Comfort and Urge them to live lives worthy of God.
The difficulty, is that you want to still parent your adult children but your children are adults or growing to be adults themselves! I need to learn to respect their different opinions, acknowledge that they can teach me things and admire them, agree that sometimes we will have different points of view, different likes and different ideas. The only thing that does not change is the Lord. But adapting to our new growing kids is hard. I am blessed to have the children I have, very forgiving and patient with me. They let me learn and make mistakes. Accept that what they used to love as young kids, maybe they do not like as much any more, and be humble and watchful of my words all the time. These are future men.
This transition is one that I am learning, but I want to learn it, watch others that have successfully done this transition and learn from them. Having a good and healthy relation with them where they are safe to talk and know that they are listened. Specially (not sure if specially) boys, they will be heads of their families, bread winners, teachers of their homes, ... I need to equip them. The Lord needs to equip them, and I am grateful for books and helps I can get my hands on to help me in the process.
So as for now, may the Lord give us wisdom as we move from one stage to the next in our lives.
Can't wait to get my book!