I am so blessed!

Halloween just passed, Christmas is coming, parties and dinners... and I see many women taking the opportunity to dress with provocative clothing, it brakes my heart. I am so incredible blessed to be surrounded by good friends who are sensitive enough to dress modestly all the time.

I am so blessed to be surrounded by friends and church family, that care for the sanctity of marriage, that respect and honor that purity. That love us so much that they would hate to be a stumbling block in our marriage. Those women who love my children enough to show a good example. Those women that love them enough to protect them from images hard to erase from their young brains.

I am so blessed. I can go with any of my close friends for dinner or a party and I can be confident that our time will be a good time because of the company and not because of the low cut dress I wear or the competition to see who gets the most looks from men.

I am so blessed to have young men in my family that cherish their minds so much as to look away even at a adds from stores that are too provocative (and they are everywhere!). And to walk away with hurt from seeing women who sell their bodies, not for money but for the simple momentary joy of a lustful look.

I am so blessed to have a God who knows what is best for our minds and He remind us in His Holy Word to renew our minds not conforming to the pattern of this world. I know this may seem foolishness to the world, but it is not foolishness! foolishness is to not see the beauty of sanctity!, There is so much more lasting joy in purity, there is no competitions on the better, the youngest, the one who had surgery, botox... nothing! you can love freely. You can go to a party and not be worried as to where to look. You can enjoy friends knowing that they care for you and you for them. You can be who you are, you can learn to impress your husband by the beauty of character, a beauty that will last. You can encourage other women not to compete for sexiness or beauty, but for holiness, home makers, lovers of their husbands, children and lovers of God.

I am so blessed!

Remember the days of your youth

God’s Love for Jerusalem

Ez.16:1 "Again the word of the Lord came to me, saying, ² “Son of man, cause Jerusalem to know her abominations, ³ and say, ‘Thus says the Lord God to Jerusalem: “Your birth and your nativity are from the land of Canaan; your father was an Amorite and your mother a Hittite. ⁴ As for your nativity, on the day you were born your navel cord was not cut, nor were you washed in water to cleanse you; you were not rubbed with salt nor wrapped in swaddling cloths. ⁵ No eye pitied you, to do any of these things for you, to have compassion on you; but you were thrown out into the open field, when you yourself were loathed on the day you were born.

⁶ “And when I passed by you and saw you struggling in your own blood, I said to you in your blood, ‘Live!’ Yes, I said to you in your blood, ‘Live!’ ⁷ I made you thrive like a plant in the field; and you grew, matured, and became very beautiful. Your breasts were formed, your hair grew, but you were naked and bare.

⁸ “When I passed by you again and looked upon you, indeed your time was the time of love; so I spread My wing over you and covered your nakedness. Yes, I swore an oath to you and entered into a covenant with you, and you became Mine,” says the Lord God.

⁹ “Then I washed you in water; yes, I thoroughly washed off your blood, and I anointed you with oil. ¹⁰ I clothed you in embroidered cloth and gave you sandals of badger skin; I clothed you with fine linen and covered you with silk. ¹¹ I adorned you with ornaments, put bracelets on your wrists, and a chain on your neck. ¹² And I put a jewel in your nose, earrings in your ears, and a beautiful crown on your head. ¹³ Thus you were adorned with gold and silver, and your clothing was of fine linen, silk, and embroidered cloth. You ate pastry of fine flour, honey, and oil. You were exceedingly beautiful, and succeeded to royalty. ¹⁴ Your fame went out among the nations because of your beauty, for it was perfect through My splendor which I had bestowed on you,” says the Lord God.
 
¹⁵ “But you trusted in your own beauty, played the harlot because of your fame, and poured out your harlotry on everyone passing by who would have it. ¹⁶ You took some of your garments and adorned multicolored high places for yourself, and played the harlot on them. Such things should not happen, nor be. ¹⁷ You have also taken your beautiful jewelry from My gold and My silver, which I had given you, and made for yourself male images and played the harlot with them. ¹⁸ You took your embroidered garments and covered them, and you set My oil and My incense before them. ¹⁹ Also My food which I gave you—the pastry of fine flour, oil, and honey which I fed you—you set it before them as sweet incense; and so it was,” says the Lord God.

²⁰ “Moreover you took your sons and your daughters, whom you bore to Me, and these you sacrificed to them to be devoured. Were your acts of harlotry a small matter, ²¹ that you have slain My children and offered them up to them by causing them to pass through the fire? ²² And in all your abominations and acts of harlotry you did not remember the days of your youth, when you were naked and bare, struggling in your blood.

²³ “Then it was so, after all your wickedness—‘Woe, woe to you!’ says the Lord God— ²⁴ that you also built for yourself a shrine, and made a high place for yourself in every street. ²⁵ You built your high places at the head of every road, and made your beauty to be abhorred. You offered yourself to everyone who passed by, and multiplied your acts of harlotry. ²⁶ You also committed harlotry with the Egyptians, your very fleshly neighbors, and increased your acts of harlotry to provoke Me to anger.

²⁷ “Behold, therefore, I stretched out My hand against you, diminished your allotment, and gave you up to the will of those who hate you, the daughters of the Philistines, who were ashamed of your lewd behavior. ²⁸ You also played the harlot with the Assyrians, because you were insatiable; indeed you played the harlot with them and still were not satisfied. ²⁹ Moreover you multiplied your acts of harlotry as far as the land of the trader, Chaldea; and even then you were not satisfied.

³⁰ “How degenerate is your heart!” says the Lord God, “seeing you do all these things, the deeds of a brazen harlot.
 
³¹ “You erected your shrine at the head of every road, and built your high place in every street. Yet you were not like a harlot, because you scorned payment. ³² You are an adulterous wife, who takes strangers instead of her husband. ³³ Men make payment to all harlots, but you made your payments to all your lovers, and hired them to come to you from all around for your harlotry. ³⁴ You are the opposite of other women in your harlotry, because no one solicited you to be a harlot. In that you gave payment but no payment was given you, therefore you are the opposite.”

³⁵ ‘Now then, O harlot, hear the word of the Lord! ³⁶ Thus says the Lord God: “Because your filthiness was poured out and your nakedness uncovered in your harlotry with your lovers, and with all your abominable idols, and because of the blood of your children which you gave to them, ³⁷ surely, therefore, I will gather all your lovers with whom you took pleasure, all those you loved, and all those you hated; I will gather them from all around against you and will uncover your nakedness to them, that they may see all your nakedness. ³⁸ And I will judge you as women who break wedlock or shed blood are judged; I will bring blood upon you in fury and jealousy. ³⁹ I will also give you into their hand, and they shall throw down your shrines and break down your high places. They shall also strip you of your clothes, take your beautiful jewelry, and leave you naked and bare.

⁴⁰ “They shall also bring up an assembly against you, and they shall stone you with stones and thrust you through with their swords. ⁴¹ They shall burn your houses with fire, and execute judgments on you in the sight of many women; and I will make you cease playing the harlot, and you shall no longer hire lovers. ⁴² So I will lay to rest My fury toward you, and My jealousy shall depart from you. I will be quiet, and be angry no more. "

O how humbling is this to me. I was that baby, and He had pity on me, He cleansed me and washed me, and dressed me with the best. Then, I prostituted myself and prefered other sins than my Lord. I was even worst than a prostitute, since I was not being paid to sin, but did it for free, out of my own evil desires! O may I never forget the days of my youth, remembre where He took me from, and that all in me if I have anything good at all, is His mercy poured out for me. Then, my Sovereign Lord ,decides after long suffering, to punish the prosititute... and strip her naked infront of his lovers, and be stoned, and pour out His wrath over her... yet, He poured it all on Jesus Christ (my Redeemer!), and on me... nothing! just the words: "My wrath was satisfied, now you are mine! and I am angry no more." O, what a merciful God. I am clean, forgiven and clothed!

signs

I am a bit worried about writing this post as I know it could cause much controversy, but I am writing it as a reminder to myself and I pray you may be blessed by it.

Butterflies have became very special to me. They remind me of my baby Erica Faith, because her room was all decorated with them (walls, crib ...). At her funeral I wore a butterfly necklace and I got another one, just because it was a settle reminder of her (but my sister gave me a necklace with her name on it and that is the one I wear now all the time). But any ways, you get the picture... butterflies became special to me.

Well, very soon after my baby died, I went to this park with some friends, and there was this butterfly that came to me only and flew all over me. It flew inside my hands as I am trying to cover my face, as I am shocked by the boldness of it. It stands on me over and over again. Of course I burst into tears. Since then, there have been a few experiences like that, of butterflies come and stand on me.

Not long ago, the Lord was merciful to me and gave me peace as He graciously has done in the past. And as I visited the grave where the body of my baby lays (even the marker we chose has butterflies in it), all I could think of was: she is not here! her body is here, but my baby is in absolute complete satisfaction, that she needs nothing! not even me! She does not see me, she does not think of me, she does not misses me or hopes to meet me. All of her needs are perfectly met by the Lord. What a beautiful thing that is! To also, look forward to that day, where I will also need nothing, or no one! not even her! For some this may sound mean or cold, but to me, it gives me great hope and joy.

Last week, the same happened with a butterfly fluttering all around me and stood on my head and flew all around my face for many minutes and my mind went right into the "signs" mode. Is this a sign of God giving me to remind me of her, is this an act of a loving God to give me a little of her? And then, I had to stop myself and look at my Lord and remember what His Holy Word says: God is enough! And then I saw this "experiences" as something I was enjoying, something dangerous to hold on to. Because God has been enough, I need no sign, I need nothing other than His precious word to sustain me.

Satan is very crafty, even using God's creation to play with my emotions, knowing that I am in a vulnerable position. Knowing that he can distract my attention from the One who sustains me and strengthens me, and the only who gives me peace and instead, put my hope in "signs" that I can easily find all around me and depend on them instead of depend on God alone.

So, I thank God again for His mercies towards us. For His peace and for the great confidence of His sufficiency. For the future hope and for the great gift of not needing signs to know that He is enough and to know He cares for us.

FB before 13?

I have been on FB since 2007. For the most part it has been fun, sometimes a waste of time, and others a way to encourage and be encouraged by others. I am now in contact with friends from when I was a little girl, met women that I have never met personally, I read great articles, and hear great music. All while I am sitting at home with a cup of tea.

I have 2 boys who wanted to join FB soon after I did. Why? not so much because I was in, but because friends the same age as them were on it. So what can be the big deal right? They will have friends the same age, keep in touch with them in a virtual world an that is it. No harm done.
Well as I started being part of FB, I realized some things besides the obvious (time wasting machine and pointless status updates) but my concern was their soul. That is my number one priority for them, my main responsibility before the Lord.

First of all, a secular world, who cares none about the soul of my children forbids them to join their social network until they are 13, that should be a good enough warning for me. If I want them to join before the age 13, I have to lie about their age. There is no way around it (unless I do not know about it of course). So by me agreeing to lie about their age, is to say that lying is really "not that bad".

Another reason we are waitingfor my younget to join, is because as parents we have some "cards" that we can play wisely or we can throw them all at once in raising our children. At least for our family, there are privileges in growing up that are worth waiting for (staying alone at home, having a cellphone, joining FB, watching certain movies, and so on). If we give them all those perks at a young age, we have no cards to play later! So when they are in their youth, what else can they look forward to? they already have it all and have seen it all. So they have to find something more exciting for themselves that is more thrilling or that feeds their need of accomplishment. But in our family, we decided to wait for those privileges. To have them looking forward to reach that age where they can join, or get the "cool phone" or look forward to be old enough to earn privileges that come with maturity and responsibility.

We want our children to know how to use wisely social media. To watch what they write, what they read, where they comment, what they comment, who the allow as friends, who they reject. If they use it, is to be used for a purpose, not for simple amusement or because they are bored. Their identity and reputation is on the line and they need to be wise about it.

It is hard. But we strive not for what is easy but for what is good for their souls.

To be Known by God!

There is a great difference between knowing about someone and being known by them.

I can read a great biography of my Prime Minister, I can even know what his favourite dessert is. How his house looks like, where he went to school and who his friends are. I may know what he believes about God, education, if he is a good administrator of his money or not, if he is liberal or conservative in his thinking, if his kids are well behaved... and the list goes on. I may know a lot more about him, that you. Or a lot less than you, yet at the end of the day, if we decide to go to his house and knock on the door, it does not matter how much we know about him but the person who will be allowed in and sit with him is the person the Prime Minister knows.

The same is with God. There are people that can recite every verse from the Bible by memory, they know all history and people. They know much about theology and can win an argument quite easily. Yet, they are not known by God. Others, know little about Him, their knowledge is increasing slowly and with much effort, their memory is not that great, they forget passages they "should" know, they read slower than others and their list of books does not seem to add as fast as others with more knowledge, they need much prayer because their flesh is weak, they battle constantly with the desires of their own heart. Yet, they are free to sit at His table, and eat with Him. They are known by God.

Now, I am not saying that reading and learning is useless. But the opposite! One that is known by God will naturally want to learn more about Him, because God himself will increase their love for Him, so that person will want to study and live a life that is holy.

Private prayer is essential, because it gives you assurance of your salvation. To pray and to read His word when no one is watching. You do it, because you truly love Him.Because He has given you love for Him. And that love, becomes irresistible!

O, to be known by God! That is the essence of Christianity! That is the why all works are useless, unless they are motivated by Him who give us the will to act according to His good purpose. O, to be known by God! Is the rest of mind to know that we can approach His throne with confidence, to be soaked by the blood of Christ to be His own. O, to be known by God! and know that every good act will be remembered, every tear kept, every prayer heard, through every trouble sustained. O what a comfort that is! ...To be known by God! To be welcomed into His house, comforted by His love, saved by His blood, forgiven by His grace.

Why?

My baby girl has gone to be with this precious Lord 10 months ago. What a beautiful life she had. A life with no knowledge of sin and corruption! If you ever question why this happened to us. Please read and and I pray you will understand.

God made this world prefect, it was sinless. It was beautiful and no sadness  was ever there. Yet man, rebelled against God and sin entered this world. Sadness, death, corruption, lies, vanity, greed ... man wanted to have their own choices apart from God. Man died that day. His desires were not for God, but for himself, shame covered them, man knew evil, and death entered the world. What a sad day that was. Yet, God in His mercy, because He is a merciful God, had compassion on men and love them so much that offered a way of salvation. He did not have to do that. Men deserved the full wrath of God for rejecting all that was good and perfect and disobeying the one command God gave them.

God cursed the ground, and labor and pain was going to follow the rest of his days. And promised a Savior who was going to come and save His people from their sins and conquer death and give eternal life. And while this Savior came, He chose people for himself to show us who God was and explain us through history who this Savior was going to be. So he saved His people out of the slavery of Egypt, to show us how Jesus was going to save His people from the slavery of sin. He had a mediator between God and man. Someone who would plead their case before God. To show us how Jesus would be our mediator between God and man.. to plead for us.  They had to sacrifice a perfect lamb before the Lord for the forgiveness of sins and place the hands of the person over the lamb to pass the sins of the person unto the lamb, then, the lamb had to die. Because without blood, there is no forgiveness of sins. They had to do this to realize the ugliness of sin, how sad it was, and what terrible consequences it brings. God gave them 10 commandments  for them to know what sin was. To know that even stumbling in one of those points, was enough to have to sacrifice a lamb. They had to followed them perfectly.  Well, as you can imagine, it was, and is impossible for any man to follow the 10 commandments perfectly. But that was God's plan. This way, they realized that for men it was impossible, but not for God. Only God can save us. But how? Well, Jesus came "The Lamb of God". He fulfilled, all the requirements of the law perfectly. Not one of the commandments He broke. He lived a sinless life and as a young man, perfect and holy, fully human, and yet fully God, died on the cross. His blood was shed for the forgiveness of sins. With His blood, he bought us back so that we can have access to the Father. On the third day, He was raised from the dead conquering death as promised from the beginning. And now, Jesus is sited at the right hand of God, praying for us. Pleading our case before the Father.

He purchased people for himself. Those who were not His people He called His people. Those who were unbelievers, He gave saving faith. And His Holy Spirit, comes, and give us life so that we might believe in Him. So I say to you, repent of your sins, look upon that cross and pray that the Lord may grant you repentance unto life.

So why my baby died? Because we live in a broken world. Sinful and cursed. Jesus came not to make our lives happy and rich, painless and magical; but to save us from our sins and give us perfect, eternal life, to live with Him forever. To save us from His coming wrath.

Was God able to save my baby from death and spare us from pain? Yes. But He did not, because His plans are better that ours. He knows what I do not, He loves us so much that He chose this to be best for us, even in a broken world full of pains and suffering, He is merciful to His people and uses even the bad of this world to show us more of who He is, to show us His goodness and our dependency upon Him. To make us more like Jesus Christ.  And to long for heaven, where the perfect rest of all suffering, pain and sin is our hope. But not a hope that is based on nothing, but a hope based on assurance.

To follow Christ will not be easy, but His love will be more beautiful to you the moment you know Him. Because He will fill every corner of your heart. You can know much about God and the stories written in the Bible, you can know much about religion. But O, to be known by God! To be called by Him and be His own possession.... there is nothing that compares.

Repent and follow Christ. Ask for mercy. And see how beautiful the Lord is. Pray to Him alone through Jesus Christ who gives us access to the Father. Pray to the One who can save your life and give you eternal life.

To Whom O Lord?

To whom O Lord can I go to? Who O Lord is enough for my soul? Is it not only You who can feed my soul?The only One who can comfort the inner parts of me? Who can I pray to that has the power to do wonderful things? Only You my Lord! Only You.

Who loves me with everlasting love but You O Lord? "If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there."(ps.139)

Doubt my love for You, how can I? If it is Your Word who keeps me, Your love that sustains me, Your grace that receives me, Your mercy that forgives me, Your tenderness that captures me, Your love that ties me to You, Your faithfulness that keeps me, Your beauty that surrounds me, Your goodness that conquers me.

Beautiful Lord, there is nothing I desire more that to know You more, to live for You, to cherish You more and to surrend to You.

When I see the greatness of Your love, my mouth is without words. I can only bow my knees and thank You for saving me.

Monday

Monday. The first of the week. The day most hated by most people. Most people live for Friday afternoon. The goal of the week, is to get to Friday. Nothing else matters. Friday! people love Fridays!. On Monday people complain, On Friday people rejoice.

I just finished studying Ecclesiastes with my children (we have not read it in a long time). I started reading it as a "Monday" , I even warned my children: "it is a very depressing book, but is God's Word... we must study it"  at the end, I fell in love with the book I finished reading it as a "Friday" :) When we arrived at the last chapter... I was sad it finished! I wanted to read more, I could not get enough of it.. there is so much to learn, so much hope, so many great warnings and counsel. It finishes leaving you with hunger for more. For a hope for Heaven.

So, living for "Friday" it is a clear chase after the wind. There is nothing exciting... we work all week, just for the great weekend of party and rest. Just to realize, we need to do this again on Monday. There is no end. And after, we start living for the end of the month. What for? just to start again another week, another month, another year.

O, but as I was reading in His beautiful Word: "Then I realized that it is good for a man to eat and drink, and to find satisfaction in his toilsome labor under the sun during the few days of life God gas given him-for this is his lot. Moreover, when God gives man wealth and possessions, and enables him to enjoy them, to accept his lot and be happy in his work- this is a gift of God. He seldom reflects on the days of his life, because God keeps him occupied with gladness of heart... God gives man wealth, possessions and honor, so that he lacks nothing his heart desires, but God does not enable him to enjoy them and a stranger enjoys them instead..."Ecc. 5:18 - 6:2

O how much truth in this passage! Even our ability to enjoy our work is a gift from God.This man is so busy working, that he has little time to reflect on his own "issues of life" (what he has and what he doesn't, what he wants, what others think of him, what is the latest on-anything, what someone's life is like compared to mine, why am I better than ...) but keeps himself busy and glad. Not feeling miserable of the lack of free time, of his lack of this or that, or how every day he wakes up to go to work, or "while my friends are having fun, I have to work"...) but his heart is glad. Because he is busy, enjoying God's gift - the ability to enjoy it!

So today, as we start our Monday, let us be glad and rejoice in it. For the Lord made it, gave us this lot and let us not be idle but keep ourselves occupied with gladness of heart. The rest will come. But chasing after the wind will take us no where, but to the place we started. We live for that eternal rest, and the days we are here, God will enable us to accept our lot and be happy in our work.

Preparation for the Lord's Day.

Prepare to meet thy God, O Christian! Betake thyself to thy chamber on the Saturday night, confess and bewail thine unfaithfulness under the ordinances of God; ashamed and condemn thyself for thy sins, entreat God to prepare they heart for, and assist it in, thy religious performances; spend some time in consideration of the infinite majesty, holiness, jealously, and goodness, of that God, with whom thouart to have to do in sacred duties; ponder the weight and importance of his holy ordinances...; meditate on the shortness of the time thou hast to enjoy Sabbaths in; and continue musing...till the fire burneth; thou canst not think the good thou mayest gain by such forethoughts, how pleasant and profitable a Lord's day would be to thee after such a preparation. The oven of thine heart thus baked in, as it were overnight, would be easily heated the next morning; the fire so well raked up when thou wentest to bed, would be the sooner kindled when thou shouldst rise. If thou wouldst thus leave thy heart with God on the Saturday night, thou shouldst find it with him in the Lord's Day morning.
George Swinnock

8 months with a different life.

Not too long ago, I felt complete. I felt with my hands full and missing nothing. I never saw myself like I was missing someone to hold or to hug. I was complete with the children God gave us. Two wonderful boys that filled my house with laughs, those boys that make me smile every time I see them. Those boys that are growing to be godly men.. O what a joy and satisfaction that is! I always teased that all I ever was going to be, was the "mother in law" because I had no daughters to "plan" the wedding with, but it was fine!, I was happy and said that I was going to spoil my daughters in laws so much so that I would be not just the dreaded "mother in law"... it was fine, really, It was a very happy and complete life, we were 4 in my house and 4 was great!

And then, I had the privilege of having a daughter with me for very little time, yet, I got to hug and kiss, to love and cherish, to fill my head with dreams and sweet memories that lasted but a short time... she was beautiful! And 8 months ago, I became incomplete. I am now broken and part of me is missing. Part of me was ripped away. My heart is missing someone, my arms are empty still. I still miss my little baby Erica Faith. I have her face printed in my head, her little fat hands and soft cheeks...There is not one day, I do not think of her.

BUT, (I love this beautiful word!) As broken as I feel sometimes, I have to say, When I feel very low and very sad, there is always the love of my All Sufficient Father comforting me... it has been a blessing to know God's providence in our life. God's kindness and to see His strength sustaining me on those days that feel so deep in the dark cave of sorrow... yet, I can smile,I love to laugh (something I thought would not come back), I have my dear husband and boys to encourage each other. I see my kids persevering in the faith and my husband, holding unto our Lord. I am so blessed by them! I am the only image of a "girl" in their lives! (poor kids! hahaha ... there are many other women better than me for this job!, I fall so short, ..but that is another post) May I be a Godly example, may I reflect Jesus Christ even in my mourning and may we continue to trust in the future Providences that may come whatever they are, knowing that my days and the days of my family are in His hands. He owns us and He will care for what belongs to Him.. what a rest that is! So whatever may come, good or hard, I know will be the best.

He has truly showed me that we live not for today, we live for tomorrow's rest. When our Heavenly Father will hold us. And there by His feet I will weep my last tears... and He will trade them for joy. My best life now? Impossible! I look forward to my best life when I see my Savior. And while we are here, He gives me the grace to enjoy life, my dear husband (Victor), my 2 beautiful sons (Marco and Sebastian)... and I am so thankful for those mercies... waiting together the coming of our Lord.

And those who know your name put their trust in you,
for you, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you.

Psalm 9:10

My prayers are filled with tears. But not all are sad tears, many of those tears are grateful tears for having 3 handsome men around me :), so incredible blessed by the 3 in many different ways, my daughter safe in His arms. For having my sons walking in the truth.  For giving us the privilege to know Him in a way we never knew Him before, and to love Him more!

And I pray: Lord, come quickly! gather your people and hasten your return!

Parenting...

I hear so often mothers "afraid" to tell their children to not listen to certain music, read a book, watch a movie,... that are of questionable benefit for the heart of your children, because they are afraid they will get frustrated and reject the Lord because everything is a "NO". 

My comment to that is: If your children walk away from the teaching of the Lord, they are responsible before the Lord. But you are to be faithful in teaching them to walk in His way, to not bend their morality and to stand firm in what is good.

If your parenting is a bunch of rules to follow, then yes, you should be worried. But that is why we need to talk to them, talk to them about what the Bible teaches, why is it wrong, the dangers of it, the beauty of not doing that what is wrong, and help them to have a deeper desire and passion for the Lord.

I am no charismatic, I do not agree with the doctrine of it. But I tell my kids, I am a strong Calvinist with a sprinkle of charismatic in my love for the Lord. I want them to see that passion, desire it.  I tell them: all doctrine and no emotions, you run the risk of being to proud; and all emotions and no doctrine, makes you ignorant and unstable. So be all doctrine with a touch of charismatic :) (now, this may be controversial for some of my friends on both sides of the fence, but if you know me, you understand what I mean).

If you teach your kids to dress in a certain way, explain why. Explain it to them so that it becomes part of who they are. If it is having certain friends, also talk to them, warn them if necessary and encourage them if appropriate. Be quick to listen to them and ready to explain.

Be afraid of the Lord, not of them. The Lord will convince them. He can be much more persuasive that the world. Once He gets a hold of their heart, He will not let them go.

Thoughts on secret prayer

The Bible teaches us: "But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you."

It teaches us, that we should go into our room, close the door and pray. This is a big difference that should be evident from the believer to the unbeliever. This should be a great mark of the faith that we profess. When the ungodly, goes into his room and closes he door, it usually is to do something that is sinful; something he hides because he cannot do in public. He goes and does these things privately and do not announce them because they are shameful to brag about. Yet, those sins he does secretly, will be exposed publicly on the great day of the Lord. That should be of terror to him.

But to the Godly, when he goes into his room and closes the door, he prays. He does this act secretly, knowing that His Lord hears. He does not sin, but confesses his sins. Those private sins of the heart, those desires and thoughts he struggles with. And he does not brag about this secret time, because there is nothing to brag about, it was a humbling time in the presence of his Lord. It is at this time, that all the secret prayers are placed before His throne where the most intimate prayers are offered to the Lord. And it is there where the Lord hears in secret. And just as the sins of the ungodly will be exposed, so will be those secret prayers answered on the great day... for all to see, and for me to see and remember even those answered prayers that He heard and I payed little attention when they were answered. That should be of great joy to us who believe in Him and love Him.

Many are looking for an emotional experience in their churches, when they pray together, at the worship service,... but little is sought of the Lord in private. When no one but the Lord should supplying that need. You can have a most marvelous time alone with the Lord, time filled with emotions, when your batteries are charged, when your faith renewed, because you see those prayers said in secret answered! What a blessed assurance that you belong to Christ!

“Fill your affections with the cross of Christ that there may be no room for sin.” John Owen
Seek those emotions privately, inside your room, with your doors closed. Tears of repentance should flow constantly, as well as laughs of joy to see your sins forgiven. Perform your prayers in a way that have heat and life in them, that they may be acceptable to God.

If you thank Him, thank Him with sincerity; if you confess, be truly sorry; if you rejoice, may it be evident; if you lament, may it be with constriction of heart; if you tell Him of your love for him, be honest; when you beg him, be persistent.

O what a blessed privilege to go before His throne, to be allowed in His courts, to be heard by God and have Jesus praying to the Father in our behalf!

Transition

My boys are growing up... yes I am happy and sad at the same time. I am nervous and secure. Afraid and trusting. Excited and sad. All of those emotions, rushing through me. But I have been a mom of young boys for so long I need to learn how to make the transition to be a mom of older boys (young man and teen agers), later on, how to be a mom of adult men.

WOW! when I had them, this time seemed so far away, almost as if it was never going to come. But here I am, facing a different stage of my life.

So I got a book (still waiting for it) called: You Never Stop Being a Parent (recommended to me by my sister). Well as I wait for it to arrive, I am noticing how much I need it. I need to learn to do a healthy transition and to have a "more adult relationship" with them as they grow up. Learn what they like now as their tastes change, their personalities mature, their conversations are deeper and their opinion needs to be heard and considered even more (because, they do have great things to say with views I never though and opinions I never considered).

I am reading the Bible this week and this is what I read in 1 Thes. 2:11-12:
For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory.

It says it as if it is something natural for a father  to do this with their children: encouraging, comforting and urging them to live lives worthy of God. I would like to think of myself as if this is the way I deal with my children all the time, but more times than I wish, I deal with them in a "not so godly way". I show them not as much grace as God has shown me or even as much grace as they have shown me.

If I can keep these 3 things in mind every day, I think my transition will be easier. I may have to write them on a wall or place them i a place that I will be reminded often so I do not forget.

                          Encourage, Comfort and Urge them to live lives worthy of God.

The difficulty, is that you want to still parent your adult children but your children are adults or growing to be adults themselves! I need to learn to respect their different opinions, acknowledge that they can teach me things and admire them, agree that sometimes we will have different points of view, different likes and different ideas. The only thing that does not change is the Lord. But adapting to our new growing kids is hard. I am blessed to have the children I have, very forgiving and patient with me. They let me learn and make mistakes. Accept that what they used to love as young kids, maybe they do not like as much any more, and be humble and watchful of my words all the time. These are future men.

This transition is one that I am learning, but I want to learn it, watch others that have successfully done this transition and learn from them. Having a good and healthy relation with them where they are safe to talk and know that they are listened. Specially (not sure if specially) boys, they will be heads of their families, bread winners, teachers of their homes, ... I need to equip them. The Lord needs to equip them, and I am grateful for books and helps I can get my hands on to help me in the process.

So as for now, may the Lord give us wisdom as we move from one stage to the next in our lives.

Can't wait to get my book!

Reading?

Woe to those who call evil good and good evil; who put darkness for light and light for darkness.
 Is. 5:20

The good will be seen as bad and the bad will be seen as good. Never realized in how many ways this is true and happening more and more every day. We see it obvious in many ways. Yet in others, is more settled.

These days, kids are not taught too hard, education itself is water down. Books that our kids are asked to read are very simple and with so little value in them. Nothing profitable in them, nothing to push for a higher way of thinking... and if you ask the teachers, or parents, the answer is: "Well, at least they are reading!" So the standards have lowered, the high view of children and youth, is not so high anymore. "As long as they are happy" is the new motto, with a high self esteem, and praise them for everything even things that are not worth praising. So the low level of education is good as long as they are happy people. On the other hand, we see that the "bad" is exalted and given an incredible amount of value.

The importance of teaching  and let them being exposed to drugs, teen sex, bullies, same sex relations, parties, ... is OK, after all, we cannot shelter them too much, right?   They need to know, they need to be exposed and make their own opinions and choices.

Yet, sadly, these kids of today, have no opinion of their own, other than the one expressed by their peers, media and the system, selling them ideas that if they disagree in any way, they are consider ignorants, or intolerant. So really, they have no apparent option other than to agree.

How can one have an opinion on issues on abortion for example if you ask them basic questions about the human body and they have no idea. How can they have the smallest sense of opinion, when everything they hear is made to put down the opposite side. Isn't it way easier for a young boy or girl to go with the crowd than to educate himself ? And if he decides to educate himself, then he is expected to be called "ignorant".

Having an opinion is way more than just follow what the majority thinks. Having an opinion, involves reading, reading good literature... educating the mind.

The Greeks and Romans, saw children as "future adults", and wanted to train them in that way and filled their minds with literature and knowledge. In the middle ages, the view of children was not as high specially if you were poor... you were to work  in the trade of your parents, so reading ... was not in the agenda. Later, with the Puritans, the importance of the soul was so heavy for them, that wanted even children to learn to read so that they could read the Bible for themselves, understand it and repent. Now a days, as long as they are reading - we are happy. The education of the mind or soul has little value... entertainment is number one on parents and teachers' lists.

No more reading for "learning and pleasure"... now, is just pleasure and if it has anything to learn from it, is a bonus.

Lets help our children think for themselves. Train them well, educate them. Just because they are reading, is not enough! What are they reading should be of great importance in our minds. Do not adopt the standard of the world but take the standard of Jesus. Growing in knowledge and understanding before men and God.

Friends

One of my many blessings ...

    I have surrounded myself  trough out  my life with godly women, and it has been a great blessing to me. It helped me to grow and mature in different areas. And as I grew older, I was very careful on who was going to be close to me, because I knew the influence a friend can have on a person.

-  Be careful to pick your friends well. Pick those you admire in some way. They will have mistakes, but those traits that you admire and want to learn, pay close attention to those!

- Be friends of those you can talk about the Lord freely. That you can be excited to share what you read last night and to hear what she read last night. What the Lord is dealing with you.

- Avoid those women that complain easily, they will drag you down very quickly. They could be very nice people, but complaining ones are very damaging to a friendship.

- If they speak well of their husbands and love their children... stick to them! It is contagious!

- Are they passionate about the Lord or they love to read good doctrine, learn from them.

- Can you laugh with them? or is it all serious all the time? For me, I love to have a good laugh, have a tea, some munchies, paint my nails crazy and just have fun. Yet with the same person, I can pray the next second.

- Some friends will be those that you see very often, some you will see once in a while, but friends that are worth keeping, keep! make an effort to continue their friendship, learn the good, find the good, admire them, keep them in your prayers so that the Lord bless them so that you may continue to be blessed through them.

- Do you disagree doctrinally with some? it is OK!, they will encourage you to seek the Scriptures on hard topics. Do they ask you about your heart? Do they motivate you to learn more?, then, keep them!

- One important thing, LEARN from them. Do not be so quick to be the one who want to "teach" them, but look for the things you need to learn and be humble enough to learn from them.

- Share them ... do not be so possessive over your friends that it becomes a burden to them or to you.

- Over the years, I have had many friends that have influenced my life greatly, I could name each and the things they have taught me.. I have thought of writing a post on it, yet I am afraid it will be so long and that I will miss someone! The list is growing.. and some of those friends have been in my life for so little time, and yet, I still remember the impact in my life. Yet I might write the names with the blessing they have been to me in a note book, so I can add people as I remember them.

What a great book of thanks giving that will be!
So to all my friends and sisters, that have impacted my life and to help me grow and to love me in spite of me, for praying and for being so patient with me all these years, and for my newer friends that I am so blessed to know now (some not in person yet) thank you!

Sandwiches

Came up with this recipe. I thought it would be worth posting (due to peer pressure!)
                              "Chicken Sandwiches"
You will need:
Grilled egg plant in oil
Garlic spread (Renee's Cesar salad dressing)
Chicken breasts thin and grilled
Mozzarella cheese
Tomato
Spinach passed through the pan quickly with salt and pepper
2 nice thick sliced bread
butter


Heat all ingredients and make your sandwich... use the butter to heat them up (like a grilled cheese)
And serve hot!
a nice soup on the side would go great with them.
enjoy!

The Lord's Supper

I acknowledge myself unworthy, utterly unworthy of the honour; unfit, utterly unfit for the service to which I am now called. It is an inestimable privilege, that I am permited so often to hear from Thee in Thy word, and to speak to Thee in prayer: and yet, as if it had been a smaller matter, In am now invited into communion with Thee at Thy holy table, there, to celebrate the memoprial of my Savior's death, and to partake by faith of the precious benefits which flow from it. I who deserve not the crumbs, am called to eat the children's bread!

 Let the blood of Christ, be sprinkled upon my conscience, to purify and pacify that... Let me be assured that Thou art reconciled to me, that my iniquities are pardoned, and that I shall not come into condemnation. There (at the table) say unto me, be of good cheer, thy sins are forgiven thee.
I here give up myself to Him as my prophet, Priest, and King to be ruled and taught and saved by Him; this is my beloved and this is my friend. None but Christ, none but Christ! (Matthew Henry)

As we had the Lord's Supper this Sunday... this is my deepest prayer. May I not forget!

Beauty

Stretch marks that tell stories of babies inside,Gray hair that gives you the right to tell others what you really think,  :)
Scars of C-Sections that help you remember,
Wrinkles adorning your face because of years of smiling,
A not perfect belly of kids that were carried and meals finished -not thrown in the garbage;
Hands that tell time,
Words that have stories to tell.

Be called mother, and sister, and maybe grandmother,
Eye circles and age spots appearing,
Your outside beauty perhaps disappearing,
Some women focus on what they start losing,
that they forget to see that the real beauty is now appearing!

The old beauty was good for the time.. but now,
enjoy your time, use it wisely,
laugh all you can, make wrinkles on your face,
have children and enjoy your stretch marks,
have gray hairs and love them!
Work on the beauty that will stay with you...
the pure heart and noble spirit.

Tell stories worth listening to,
Do not compete with beauty of young,
but let them see the beauty awaiting.
Let them desire be old one day and not fear the days to come.

So You Are Considering Home Schooling?

You are considering all the options: public system. Christian school, private secular, anything! And when there is no more options, you get to the next dreadful option: HOME SCHOOLING! You hear more people are doing it, people you trust and are not weird looking! You want to do it some days and other days are the scariest thing you have ever considered. Either you will do the best for your children or you will ruin them (either way you go), so which is the best? Which way should you go? Ahhh!!!… you can struggle with this question for years and never change what you are doing. Do not worry, you are not alone. I was there and there are millions out there in your shoes. Here are some points to consider, I hope this will help you make the best choice for your children, whatever it is.

1.        If you home school, you will have great days, very rewarding days, with very fun with projects and laughs, you will see your kids grow and learn from a very close view… but it will also bring the worst out of you. You will see parts of your character challenged constantly, your testimony will be very important all the time. Your kids will see your faults very clearly and you will have to learn to mould your character very often.

2.        You will need to find new friends, friends that love to be with their children, that do not wait desperately for the hour when they drop them off to school so the can have a nice clean house or go for a nice quiet coffee with their friends. Your house will be used. Your floors will get dirty, you will have to sit on the floor and make a project with them, you will have to clean glitter of your nails (not because of your nail polish). Yet, your lunch time will be with very important people,  your time to have deep conversations with your children will increase, you can deal with issues the moment they happen, you can pray for them and with them at any time that is needed.

3.        You will face the danger of pride… thinking you are better than those families who do not like/want/can home school; you will be face with coveting (their “free” time that you do not have), you will be faced with self pity and making sure the world KNOWS what you have sacrificed for your children, so that make you a darn good mother!, you will be faced with other sins you never thought could be possible! You will want to make sure others know ALL the great things YOUR children are learning and the operas they went to and the leadership they are showing… and the list goes on and on and on…. You will feel the need to boast about your work, your children,… be careful! You will try to convince the home school world that your way of home schooling is the best

4.        Your style of homeschooling will be your style. What works for me, may not work for you. Yet it is, if you home school, your responsibility to educate your children. Having a day off because of whatever reason, is OK, but waking up at 12 every day, do not take a shower and eat in bed every day, you are failing at them and the Lord and you would be better off not home schooling them. Education is a responsibility, and it may take you time to learn discipline to actually do school.

5.        The amount of books, links, free links, subjects, curriculum, it is overwhelming! Be prepared to do some research before you buy, buy, buy, download, print, download, print, print, print… you will end up with many books, or material that will not be used. A waste of time and money. Peer pressure even in this will hit you: “You should teach them this, that, and that, my child at your child’s age, already know how to write in Latin, Greek and Chinese! Why don’t you see how important this is?”  Buy only what you will use.

6.        If your kids go to school and you want to pull them out, expect the first year to be an adjustment (yours and theirs) use this year to know each other, to learn to love your child, to adjust to having him or her around, to get used to the new noise around the house. Do not stress academically too much, but use this year to bond again, to learn the Word of God together, study it all.

7.        You think, well, my child goes to a Christian school, he has Bible class every day, do you know what they are studying? Do you agree with the doctrine? Are they teaching them Bible stories or Bible doctrine? Is it their job to train your children in that area? How much time do they hear you teaching them about the Lord, His love, His wrath, His judgement, His mercy, His patience, His hate, sin, forgiveness, repentance, predestination, justification, sanctification,… Do you know these doctrines well? Do they teach them at school? Does your kid know what it means to mortify the sin? If they are teaching these at school and you are not at home, and then you have made a good choice in sending them to school but if they are not learning these at church and not at home either, then you will have to give account to the Lord for the soul of your children.

8.        If you ever think homeschooling is something you cannot do, something that is for certain families, or you are worried that your kids will be alone, antisocial kids, weird looking, and living in a bubble… you have believed the view of the world.  They do not live in a bubble, we talk about the Greek mythology, read it, compare the gods with the God of the Bible; we talk about homosexuality, abortion, drugs, bullying, sex, all in light of the Bible. When studying history, we study it as His-story. We see His sovereignty, His supremacy… we do not separate Bible History with history... But study it parallel from each other. We study evolution very through… and we see the lack of evidence… God will provide friends for your children. God will provide, He has to others, He will not stop now. You can study subjects together, do projects with them, organize a group, it will involve your time and energy. But they are your children and God entrusted them to you. Not to the system. To you and your husband to train them in the knowledge and admonition of the Lord.

9.        Is it hard? Yes! But that is why you learn to depend EVERY day on the Lord. You cannot get out of bed without asking the Lord for His help. You will learn to trust Him in areas you never knew before. You will be humbled and realize that you are no better than any other mother! But instead, you are very weak and lack so much that if the Lord does not go before you, you cannot move. Your husband will see it, your kids will see it, you will confess sins to your children that they know already, but you can pray for each other.

10.     Home schooling will try to be your life; it will want to take over, to define you. You need to keep in mind you are a servant of the Lord, a wife a mother and after that…. you teach your children at home. It is part of you, NOT who you are. Not every vacation has to be educational, if you make cookies, you do not bring math into it unless the lesson calls to make cookies… if you talk about you with someone, do not talk about how great your HS is going or how great your children are. Have other conversation subjects, be a well rounded person, do not boast but learn of others, if you make cookies, enjoy the time! If you want to make them alone, you are allowed! Have friends over and simply enjoy their company. Read, have a cup of tea/coffee…relax! Enjoy your family and learn together. You are bad at math?... no worries, ask your husband to rescue you (I do!).

11.     If you think home schooling will save your children, you need to study the Word a bit more… You can dedicate all your life and energy into teaching your children to love the Lord, and yet is only the Lord who will give them love for Him. Home schooling is NOT the way of salvation. Jesus Christ is! Only Jesus can save them, only the Spirit can open their eyes. But you are required to teach them His Word. If you think they will be lost if they go to a school, no again. Neither one is a guarantee for their salvation. Will it be harder for one who goes to school? Yes. Because at such a young age, so vulnerable, not mature enough it will be very hard to persevere in the faith they are learning at home when they are being exposed most of their time to influences that will not encourage their walk but discourage it. Can they persevere? yes...with God's grace of course the can, but it will be harder. Than for one who is exposed to the Word  of the Lord most of the time during their life, and when they are mature enough to stand firm in what they believe. But in both cases is only by God's grace and mercy that they will persevere.

I hope this thoughts help you with your home schooling struggle. I do not write often about this, because God knows I need to guard my heart and God knows also my weaknesses in this, so I do not mean to boast or to put you down if you do not home school. This has been an important decision in our lives and if you are struggling with this, my only intention is to help you, and encourage you. Not to debate or to exalt home schooling at any rate. It is a method, not a law.